Peace of God and His mercy to you.
Today, I would like to discuss the role of the family in Islam. The important part of a Muslim community is the family. A coherent family consists of the parents and their children - young and adults. And the parents are the leaders and are expected to take their responsibility to make sure that the ship does not sink and that its crew follow the rules and are cooperative.
Marriage
A good family is made up of good parents. And good parents are expected to have good children. People affect people, and mostly the old affect the young. When a man is able to get married, he must be:
- adult,
- sane,
- aware,
- righteous, and
- Muslim.
And the woman who wants to get married, or a man with the above properties wants to marry her, the woman should be:
- adult,
- sane,
- aware,
- righteous, and
- Muslim, or non-Muslim of a religion of God (Judaism and Christianity).
I have to explain why the man should be Muslim and the woman can be a follower of any religion of God. We know that in a family the children get the name of their father, not the name of their mother. And we know that the father is the leader of the family, he is the main source of income for the family, and that the father's voice is always heard in almost every matter discussed in the family. Therefore, the children are mostly affected by the actions of their father, who is expected to be an example for the children. And the children will be expected to follow the religion of the father, which is Islam. And for the mother, she can keep following her religion, or she can convert to Islam if she accepts it (as a natural result of interaction and living with her Muslim husband). But, if the children followed the religion of their mother, which is not Islam in this example, there can be problems between the parents and their children. You see, if the father who is supposed to be the captain of the ship guides his crew who do not share his ideas, there will be conflicts, especially between the parents when their families interfere. And there will be situations in which the children do not know who to follow or listen to. I hope you have understood what I am trying to say.
And I want to say that God ordered us to marry to keep the humankind existent and to prevent people from committing adultery when they cannot control their sexual desires. And He allowed a man to marry up to four women only if:
- his first woman cannot conceive,
- his first woman has a dangerous disease that can transfer to him and to her fetus, or
- he is able financially as well as able to be fair with each of his wives.
God says:
If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or that which your right hands possess. That will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice. The Women 4:2
And He says:
And come not near unto adultery. Lo! it is an abomination and an evil way. Al Isra 17:32
Raising ChildrenSo, the important role of the parents is raising their children in the best way. To be good examples for them, to explain things for them, to teach them Islam, to study the Quran with them, to give them good names, to feed them well, to treat them kindly, and to differentiate for them right and wrong. The parents are expected to grow a good plant by taking good care of their seeds.
The Prophet Muhammad, Peace Be Upon Him, said:
In the Day of Judgment you are called by your names, and your father's name, so have good names. Arabic Source: Islamweb
And he said:
Be good to your children, and teach them good behavior. Arabic Source: Islamweb
Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported:
Al-Aqra' bin Habis saw Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) kissing Al-Hasan. He said: I have ten children, but I have never kissed any one of them, whereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: He who does not show mercy (towards his children), no mercy would be shown to him. Source: al-islam
And there are many teachings by the Prophet, Peace Be Upon Him, that guide the people in raising their children the correct way and teaching them responsibility.
And now, let me introduce you to what God says about parents' role toward their children:
And who say: Our Lord! Vouchsafe us comfort of our wives and of our offspring, and make us patterns for (all) those who ward off (evil). Al Furqan 25:74
The father should pray to God to have a good wife and good children and to be able to be good example for them.
And God says:
Allah chargeth you concerning (the provision for) your children... The Women 4:11
Parents have to provide their children what they need of food, education, and a happy, yet responsible life.
And when the children among you come to puberty then let them ask leave even as those before them used to ask it. Thus Allah maketh clear His revelations for you. Allah is Knower, Wise. Al Noor 24:59
When your children reach puberty, they can get married.
In the end...The parents are responsible for their children. They are like gardeners who try their best to grow good crops. Prophet Muhammad said:
every one of you is a caretaker, and is responsible for his consignment. The ruler is a caretaker of people, and is responsible for his subjects. A man is a caretaker of his family, and is responsible for them. A woman is a caretaker of her husband's house and children, and is responsible for them. A slave is a caretaker of his master's property, and is responsible for it. All of you are caretakers, and all of you are responsible for their consignment. Source: al-islam
The happiest family is the one with good leaders.
And this is a note worth mentioning: Islam also did guide the sons and daughters to good behave with their parents. I will talk about this soon!
Until next time, make sure you be good to your parents and children :)
